Car Trouble...
Nothing changes sometimes, reliably so...
last week my rearview mirror fell off. No fear I thinks a quick trip to the car emporium should cure my ails. So they sell me some green sticker things that frankly were rubbish. If I'd sneezed on the windshield it would have held the mirror longer.
So returned to car emporium and they tried to sell me some tape for car number plates, nay I said, Its a mirror. So they sold me some super glue.. which wasn't so super...
Then I went to a different car emporium who sold me a stronger super glue, that was equally not so super.
Then I went to a car glass emporium who said that a vital part was missing and that I would need a new windshield.
After a chat with my insurance company, a new wind shield is on its way, but as said vital part is missing, I'll be needing a new mirror...
a trip to the manufacturer is in order...
Back from the brink
Excuse my profanity, but bloody hell! It works again.
I'd just about given up on 20six, so what have you missed, not much :D
I'll think of something more thought provoking to say shortly...
crap
Yes 20six is, very.
Living in a fascist lawn regime
<<<Incoming Telegram>>>
Message from the Voter General. Stop.
You the blessed and chosen voters of this Great England shall be conscripted.stop.
From hence forth the lawn will be mowed atleast twice a week.stop
Three times a week if it's not particularly rainy. stop.
No blade of grass shall be spared! stop.
The voter general shall be grievously displeased if she can not see bare earth through the lawn.stop.
All hoses shall be banned and all water butts will be confiscated. stop.
All Lawnmowers shall be cleaned and maintained fortnightly. stop.
All weeds will be removed and interrorgated. stop.
The voter general will have control. stop.
This land will be kept glorious and green. stop.
stop.stop.
<<message ends>>
Just say No...
This story has been brought to you as part of the Anti-Drugs campaign. All names and places have been changed to protect anonymity.
This is the tale of Andy, 34, Battermory.
Andy was a fun loving guy and enjoyed going out with friends and partying. One night in the early 90's he decided to go to an illegal rave at a warehouse with some friends. Once the party got into full swing, his friends started to take synthetic drugs to enhance the party experience. Even though he didn't want to, Andy felt that he had to join in to keep up with his friends. After that night Andy's life took a downward spiral into a world of drink and drugs. Many years later when the drugs began to wear off, Andy found himself living on the island of Battermory just off the coast of Scotland. Rising from his drug stupor, sober for the first time in years, Andy's initial impulse was to find the nearest mirror and see what had become of himself. Staring in the mirror, Andy realised that he'd taken to wearing a very silly hair-cut and an even sillier hat. He had also taken to wearing a kilt, even though he was blatantly English. His next urge was to explore his surroundings further. Soon Andy realised that he was living in a pink castle and that his best and only friend was a cardboard robot he had made and glued to the wall. Strangely while under the influence he had believed the robot had come to life. Clean and sober Andy decided to head outside and find help, what he found was to drive him deeper into the post-drugs depression. Over several years the inhabitants of the island had become mad and were obsessed with the islands pre-school nursery, even though only 2 of the island's population were of nursery age. While under the influence the sadistic school bus driver had forced him to help her with her many dodgy ploys to keep the number of children at the nursery at sufficient levels. Even when Andy sought help from the island's policeman, he found him to be a bumbling eegit more interested in singing silly Country and Western songs and looking for creepy crawlies, than doing real police work.
Andy eventually got the help he needed and is starting to rebuild the tattered wrekage of his life, even though he says he'll be keeping the kilt. He just wants the young people of today to know how damaging drugs can be. Just remember, say no to drugs, it's the grown up thing to do.
